My Valentine!

It was the eighties. I was in my early twenties and I was in love! This July, Angie and I will be celebrating twenty years of marriage. In all we have been a couple for twenty-three years. It's hard to acknowledge that time has flown by, yet the history we have made together is unforgettable. It just seems like yesterday I saw her for the first time as she walked into our campus chapel. Our introduction. Our first date (which I took her to the symphony, where I feel asleep!). Our first announcement to the world that we were a couple! Memorable anniversaries. The proposal at Newport Beach/Balboa Island. Planning the wedding! Our wedding day! Being newlyweds! Our first apartment. The days we found out we were going to bring little blessings into the world. Our girls birth. Our first house. Ministry. Mary Kay events. Vacation and so many memories! My wife has been such a blessing to me. Through my success and failures she has been the pillar that continues to lift me up to the heavens. As a young athlete I would play to impress the cheerleaders, today I play to impress one, my wife.

These last twenty three years have taught me allot when it comes to marriage. As a pastor I had opportunities to counsel couples who were getting married. At the time, I felt a little inadequate, I was a newlywed myself! Yet as time has gone by I am able to look back and take life notes of our marriage. I have learned that I am the first example to my girls, when it comes to a relationship with another man. The way I treat my wife, to the way I lead as the spiritual leader of my home. Let me give you an example. Since my house is full of women, the girls love watching the reality shows that have to deal with weddings! "Say Yes To the Dress", "My Fair Wedding with David Tutera", "Four Weddings", and to get a good laugh, "Bridezillas"! As I sit in and turn in my "man card" for an hour, I cannot help but to take a look at our culture and the idea of marriage. Some of the examples shared in these shows are sometimes down right embarrassing and cheapens the idea of marriage. I must admit, that some of these shows have opened up conversations with our girls. Conversations that have emphasized the importance of marriage and the qualities they want in a husband. One night I realized the importance of my role as a father and husband when Angie asked the girls what qualities they want in a husband. My eldest replied, "Someone like dad..." In recent years I have taken inventory of our marriage and have come up with five things I believe that has helped Angie and I stick it out through thick and thin.

Five Ideas to Create a Healthy Marriage

1. God is the center of our relationship.
Angie and I are people of faith. God plays a big role in our
life. As God as the center of our marriage, we acknowledge that there
is one greater than self. Our prayer is to see each other as God sees us.
We can pray together. Trust God together. Through prayer we can Fight for our children together, when it seems that culture is trying to influence them with hollow and deceptive philosophy.

2. Communication
This was hard for me at first. What I enjoy the most is on the weekends when the girls are still sleeping in. Angie and I will take that time to talk on
the couch. We just shoot the breeze with each other. I enjoy those moments. Communication opens the door to one's heart and builds a long lasting friendship and soul mate! The words "I love you" is more than an expression but an affirmation of my commitment to this wonderful person that I call my wife.

3. Laughter
I love to have fun! I am still a kid at heart! Laughter makes things fun!!!
Whether it is a small prank, to sharing a hilarious story, there is something about laughter that brings joy to the home and marriage. Besides I love Angie's smile!

4. Integrity
A lot of couples lack integrity when it comes to the vows that were promised on the altar. When shopping with the girls, I like to observe people. As I wait for them to try on their clothes, there are other husbands doing the same. At times I will catch these guys taking a long glance at a very pretty woman walking by. Integrity with our spouses includes the idea, that when I said "I do..let no man tear us under, and until death do us part", it was not just words shared to complete a ceremony...but a vow to live by!

Which leads to my last area...

5. Loyal
It is me and my wife against the world! Before the children...it was Angie and I. She has seen me when I am down. She has seen my faults. We have been each others strength at times. There are forces that will try to separate us, yet our loyalty to each other grounds us! Through it all our love for each other stands strong because we are loyal to each other! TILL DEATH DO US PART!

May God's blessings be upon you and your spouse. May your marriage reflect God's grace and love as you grow together to accomplish your dreams and goals!

His call. His gift to you. Your purpose. Irrevocable.


Happy Valentines Day Babe!