Summer Series 2013: Part 4 - Acknowledge Him

“Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.”

- Charles (Chuck) Swindoll

I heard Chuck Swindoll say this when I was a young father.  It gave me a visual of my responsibility towards my children.  When we go to the bank we make a deposit.  When we need the money we go to the bank or ATM and pull the money out.  If we do not work at continuing to deposit our wealth, then when needed, it’s not there.  It is the same with our children.  We must work at depositing into the lives of our children, for when it’s time to have a “talk” or  “time” with our child, they will give back what we have given to them!  What are you depositing into your children?  I have seen to many times parents try to pull out deposits from teenagers and adult children with so much resistance.  Why?  They did not deposit into their children when they were young.  They did not take the time to pour into their child.  Now please understand, I am not questioning ones love for their child.  I know many fathers who love their children, yet for whatever reason found it hard to pour into them more than just providing and protecting them.  I also know that it may be a generational thing, yet there is such a great opportunity we have gentleman with the gifts (children) God has given to us!  If we do not start when they are young, it will become harder when they are older to ask for their attention.

Let’s look at Hezekiah….Isaiah 38

We are told that Hezekiah was at the point of death.  Isaiah comes into the picture and tells him to get “your house in order, for you shall die, you shall not recover.”  Can you imagine this news?  I am sure his mind raced with the many things he wished he could do or re-due.  We see Hezekiah pleading with God…

“Please, O Lord, remember how I have walked before you in faithfulness and with a whole heart, and have done what is good in your sight.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly.   Is. 38:3 (ESV)

The Lord hears his plea and grants him fifteen years.  To show Hezekiah his promise, God commands the shadow of the sun to go back ten steps (vs 8)!

In verse 9 Hezekiah reflected on what he had just experienced.  In verses 10-14 he shares how he is in the prime of his life yet death knocks at his door and with a final plea, cries out to God…”O Lord, come to my aid!”  In verses 15-20 we hear about the answered prayer and Hezekiah’s promise to follow the Lord.

“O Lord, by these things men live, and in all these is the life of my spirit. Oh restore me to health and make me live!  Behold, it was for my welfare that I had great bitterness; but in love you have delivered my life from the pit of destruction, for you have cast all my sins behind your back.”  (Is. 38:16-17 ESV)

“The living, the living, he thanks you, as I do this day; the father makes known to the children your faithfulness.” (Is. 38:19  ESV)

Yet what stands out to me in this psalm of Hezekiah is the words, “the father makes known to the children your faithfulness.”  The greatest deposit we can pour into our children is the faithfulness of God.  Not just by words, but by action!  

Two weeks ago we drove our eldest to her first year of college.  This is a game changer!  I am still getting used to the new norm in our household.  As we drove down my emotions were going all over the place.  Every time I thought of my little girl, tears would fill my eyes as I would think back to the times I could hold her as a child.  Those times where you wish you could relive the moment for just a while.  Then joy would fill my heart as I would think of her opportunities and future.   On “move in” day, the school ends the day with a BBQ dinner and final sendoff prayer.  It’s a moment to say goodbye and go your separate ways.  I was dreading this moment; because I knew that this would make it official…she is on her own.  As we prayed and began to say our goodbyes, I thought I would be an emotional wreck, yet I wasn’t.  A joy overcame to me as the words “You did it!” came to me.  I was able to let go because I knew that I as a father had done everything in my being to live out my faith always pointing her to God!  I had deposited so much into my baby girl, that now, I let go with confidence knowing that whenever she needs my wisdom, direction or attention she will seek my advice.  How do I know?  In the last couple of months God allowed me to look into the life of my daughter from a distance.  One morning I walked into her room to find her with the Bible open, shooting the breeze with God.  I came across her prayer book that was left open on her desk and I found my name, as well as her mother and sister, with specific prayers for each of our lives.  She had posted on her wall her upcoming daily schedule which included God time and her daily run. Moments with her friends became special as she circled her “true” friends and began making wise decisions.     When we got home from dropping her off, my wife and I found letters to each of us left by her on our bed.  How did she know to do this?  It was the example that my wife and I gave to her.  You see, she would walk in on me when I was reading my Bible and having God time.   She saw me go out the door for moments to “shoot the breeze” with God walks.  She saw the importance of starting the day out before God at home and while driving to school.  She witnessed our relationships with others.  She saw me make mistakes and ask for forgiveness.  My baby girl opened many surprise letters that I would leave for her when I went on a trip.  On our last date night before heading off to college we had a special moment that makes it all worth it…”Thanks dad for everything…”.  Even in the last two weeks I have had to call on those deposits as I have had to give some wisdom and direction to my newly independent child.  The good thing, she has been opened to our instruction.  Now a new battle begins….BOYS!!!!  Just kidding!  (Even though, I have seen the interest of these young men toward my daughter…another subject, another day!)  Now it’s time to fight for my child on my knees as she goes through these next four years of life.  My prayer is that she will hold onto her faith and never give up on her dreams.    

Gentlemen, we have the responsibility to point our children to God.   Believe me, it makes it so much easier to let go!  I saw so many fathers with tears in their eyes.  I hope that they were tears of joy and not regret of wishing they had more time.  Throughout  Scripture we hear the words…

“But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”  - Joshua    Joshua 24:15

“We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.  He established a testimony in Jacob and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers to teach to their children, that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and arise and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments;and that they should not be like their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, whose spirit was not faithful to God.”   Psalm 78:4-6

“And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever. Be careful now, for the Lord has chosen you to build a house for the sanctuary; be strong and do it.”   -David    1 Chronicles 28:9-10

“He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.”  Proverbs 14:26

“The righteous man leads a blameless life, blessed are his children after him.”  Proverbs 20:7

“Train a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it.”  Proverbs 22:6

Acknowledge Him before your children and you will be a blessed man!  Make deposits that will last a life time

Here are a few ideas that helped me make deposits into my children. 

A date night out.  Go to the movies, dinner or just go out for ice cream.  Treat her as your princess by opening the door for her and letting her know that she is special.  Remember if you don’t do it first, some snot nose kid is going to come along and do it for you!

Love Notes!   Come on, you used to write those love notes to your wife when you were courting her.  Why not your daughter?  What a great way to let her know that you love her!  Let it be a letter of encouragement she finds in her lunch box.  Maybe it’s a hidden letter  on her pillow that lets her know how you feel about her when you go on that long trip.     

Give a verse.  Each of my girls has a verse that I have given to them.  It’s my prayer for them. 

Give child their own Bible.  What a great opportunity to share your faith with your child!  I had the honor to give my eldest her adult Bible before heading off to college.  I was able to share why God’s Word was important to me and why I was passing it on to her.  And guess what, hi-lited in her Bible was my verse to her.

Make a video of memory.  During special moments I have created videos for my kids.  It could be a family vacation or a special birthday.  I presented a video to my daughter for graduation which included a memory of family members of those before her ; a collage of her childhood family and senior year.  It now forever in her album.

Journal.  There are journals you can get that ask you questions.  This is a great tool to let your child get to know you!  I started writing in a journal when the girls were babies and finished it when they were teenagers.  At Christmas one year I took the journal entries, made copies, and placed them in a photo album including pictures.  When they leave our home or if anything ever happens to me, they will always have a peace of me with them.

Pull them aside and pray for them.  Ask them what can I pray for you?  What needs do you have?  Then pray for them!  There is something about a child hearing the very words of their father bringing them before God.

Family Worship Time.  I will admit, we did not go to church every Sunday.  When we didn’t, I, Rev. Daddy gave the morning sermon.  We pull out our Bibles and my children hear Gods word given by ME!  It has been a great time for God to use me to speak into the lives of my children! 

No earplugs when driving throughout town.  We made a rule when the girls were younger…NO EAR PLUNGS WHEN DRIVING IN TOWN.  I have used this time to ask questions about their day; school; friends; or what has God been doing in their life.  Sometimes we will turn up the radio and have a party!  Lots of fun!

Treat mommy with respect.  They are watching!  When your children see your love for your wife through the eyes of the Lord, that deposit will come back tenfold when they begin to date.  They will take your instruction and use you as the standard of a young man. 

Don’t be like Hezekiah and wait for the last minute when you’re facing death and asking God for more time to accomplish what you may have not done. Pour into your child’s life now!  Let them see God in you!  I love being a daddy, but most of all I love seeing my children grow in the Lord.  Arise gentlemen…the time has come for us to shout out the name of our Lord to the next generation!

His call.  His gift to you.  Your purpose.  Irrevocable.